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学生在做书面表达时往往会出现一些完全可以避免的毛病。下面以一次考试的书面表达为例,就学生所犯的典型错误进行分析,找出“病根”,并提出防治措施---“疗法”。
假如你叫李华,从XXX笔友栏目中了解到英国学生Jack想交中国笔友,你用英文给他写信。中心内容包括:出生年月,生活地方,个人兴趣,在校生活,未来志向等,并表示想了解对方的一些情况。[来源:学科网]
要求:词数60-80(开头和结尾已写好,不计入总词数。)
XXX Middle School |
XXX Shandong, China |
June 25, 2006 |
Dear Jack, |
I’m glad to know from XXX that you want to have a pen friend in China. I’d like to be your pen friend… |
Yours, |
Li Hua |
症状:
1、与题中提示不一致。
e.g. My name is Xu Tongtong. I study in No. 1 Middle School.
分析:审题不够仔细,匆忙下笔。用考生的真实姓名和学校是犯了大忌。
疗法:逐字审题,把每一个有用的信息标出来。如果把“你叫李华”和所给信头中的地址标出来并知道这应是你的地址,就可以避免此错误。
2、漏了要点和喧宾夺主。例如:有的未表达“想了解对方的情况”。这应该算漏点,是大失误,扣的分较多。有的写到:My sister is only 10. I own a small room. My parents work very hard. 这些都和交友没有关系,没有必要写,写了一是冲淡主题,二是造成时间的浪费。
分析:没有抓住重点。
疗法:确定主题后,把需要表达的要点一一画上符号。如果除所给的提示外还有表达的要点,要用笔写下来。最后,再检查一下,看是否有要点遗漏。
3、句型不正确,用了汉式英语。e.g. My study is not good. I want to know something about your like. I introduce myself. I like reading book. When is your born year?
分析:一是基本功差,句型没掌握好,没养成英语习惯,语感不强。二是没有仔细推敲,随意下笔。
疗法:平时要多听,多读,多背,多练,养成用英语思考和模仿英语说话习惯,培养语感,加强语法和词汇的学习。还要学会用正确的英语句型去表达你要说的东西。
4、动词时态和形式的病句。e.g. I lived in /I am living in /a city. Tell me your lives.
分析:时态意识差。
疗法:在写作时应根据语境考虑并确定好时态和形式。
5、写出一些令使用英语民族反感的句子。e.g. I think you are older than I. How old are your parent?
分析:不了解对方的文化背景。西方人忌讳问年龄和打听人家的隐私。
疗法:一是要了解并尊重使用英语的民族的文化背景,二是要紧扣要点写。
6、在不必要的情况下使用复杂句,使文章别扭或句式单一。e.g. My name is Li Hua, who lives in a small city in Shandong. I was born in … And I live in a city…. My father is a worker. And my mother is a worker. And I like sports.
分析:没必要使用从句。全部是简单句,并用了太多的and, 使短文读起来不连贯。写作时缺少斟酌,句式不熟。
疗法:平时要多看,多读和多背好的短文。注意句子之间的关系,要自然而不要牵强。
7、太“真实”太“具体”,以致不会表达的要胡乱编造。e.g. My hometown is Gededunzi of Fenghuangling, Linyi. My father works in the Shizhenggongsi.
分析:此信只是假设,并非要你填写档案。写如此长的汉语拼音,对方怎能理解。
疗法:避难就易,写普通的地名或单位就可以,不要“实事求是”。
8、单词拼写错误,汉语拼音用错。e.g. I was burned on April 24…Shang Dong. My pears are both teachers.
分析:单词掌握不好。
疗法:平时要注重单词的记忆和使用。避免使用没把握的单词。没my parents 可以用my father and my mother 来代替。地名的汉语拼音不能出错,题目中已给的。[来源:Z*xx*k.Com]
9、介词,副词及近义词的误用。e.g. I am good in English. My parents are all teachers. In my family, I have a room of my own.
分析:注意词的正确使用。
疗法:如果在列提纲,定句型时,冷静联想一下:be good at , do well in , all and both, family and home 的区分,就会避免以上错误。
10、表达不得体,不合语境。e.g. Ok. Stop here. See you. I want you to come to my home in the holidays.
分析:以上的句子都非常正确但用的不是地方。第一句是用在口语里,写信不该用到。第一次同一个外国学生通信,就让对方到你家里去是不合适的。[来源:Z_xx_k.Com]
疗法:动手写作之前,要通过审题,考虑好写作的目的,写作的对象和写作的文体,就可以避免类似的问题。
One possible version:
I am a boy named Li Hua. I was born in July, 1987. Both my parents are middle school teachers. I live in a small city and I am a junior middle school student. I am in Grade 8 now。Our school is a beautiful place and I like it very much. I study Chinese, math, English, physics and so on. I am good at math. I like swimming and skating very much. I often go swimming with my classmates in summer. I want to be a math teacher in the future. How about your school and your family? Please write back to me and tell me more about yourself.